Irvine Welsh Joins As Baritone Gillespie's Future In Doubt

DENISE, THROB, IRVINE: "I was walking in the park one day/In the merry, merry' month of-"

GILLESPIE: "June..."

DENISE: 'No, Bobby! For the tenth time, it's May! And you're supposed to be singing in B-Sharp, not C-flatl Now concentrate!

GILLESPIE: I'm trying, I'm trying!

DENISE: All right. From the top again.


'I was walking in the park one day/In the merry month of- '

(Pause, as everyone waits for Bobby to come in)

GILLESPIE: Oh I Sorry, I was miles away. What's my line again?

DENISE: For Christ's sake, Bobby, look alive! You can't keep fucking up like this. All right, we'll try another one. Two, three four-

DENISE,THROB,IRVINE: 'Wayyy down upon the Swannee...'


DENISE: Bobby, for CHRIST'S SAKE I It's "River"!

GILLESPIE: You said 'May'!

DENISE: That was the last number! We're singing another number now!

GILLESPIE: Well, it's no wonder I get confused if you keep chopping and changing!

IRVINE: Listen, I'm sorry but I thought this was a professional outfit. Either this idiot goes or I go.

(Everyone looks at Gillespie)

GILLESPIE: Look -it's not my fault! When you said, 'We should go barber shop,' I thought you meant go to the barber shop! I haven't rehearsed or anything - nice haircut, though, eh? Guys? Where are you going? Come back!


Melody Maker, June 1st 1996